There are a lot of jokes in and around football that will get you laughing. Soccer fans will undoubtedly enjoy these funny bits and pieces.
Every football fan will go through various emotions on many occasions, whether it be exciting when a tournament comes after four years, like the World Cup, sadness when their favorite team loses, nervousness when their team gets into penalties, or happiness when their team wins a match.
These hilarious jokes are also a medium of sharing happiness with your fellow friends and family who loves football just like you.
These jokes may not make your team win a match, but you will certainly remember them the next time you go to cheer for your team. Also, you can use them as captions for your next social media post.
The Ball Jokes, Yeah We Said It
There are many hilarious jokes that we have gathered regarding the round ball of the sport itself.
1. Why couldn't anybody see a soccer ball?
Because the defense has already cleared it!
2. Why did the soccer ball quit the match?
It was simply tired of getting kicked by everyone!
3. What did the goalkeeper say to the soccer ball?
Catch you later!
4. Why did the goalpost become angry?
Because its bar got rattled by the ball.
Football And Animals, Both We Love
Football lovers have made funny jokes that have related soccer to different animals.
6. What time is it when an elephant steps on your football?
Well, time to get a new football.
7. Why doesn't the dog play football?
Because he is already a boxer.
8. How do you stop a squirrel from playing soccer in your garden?
Just hide the soccer ball; it will drive them nuts.
9. Why cannot we play football with the pigs?
Since they always hog the ball.
10. Why doesn't a fish play football?
Because they are frightened of nets.
Insects Can Play Soccer Too You Know
11. What did the honeybee say after he scored a goal?
Hive Scored!
12. Why doesn't a Grasshopper watch football
Because they like to watch cricket!
13. Why did the chicken get sent off the match?
Because it made plenty of foul plays.
14. How do the birds cheer for their favorite teams?
They will egg them!
Jokes Related to Food
Football lovers have also made hilarious jokes that have related soccer to food.
14. Why do footballers always struggle to eat their food?
Because they can't use their hands.
15. What is a football player's favorite drink?
They love the Penal - tea.
16. Which football team loves ice cream?
Aston Vanilla
Soccer Fans Are The Best
The Football community has also made hilarious jokes that make fun of other fans.
17. Why is the football stadium the most fantastic place?
It is full of fans!
18. My girlfriend broke up with me after I was too obsessed with soccer. How could she? We had been dating for three seasons!
19. A wife confronts her husband over his obsession with football. She gives him an ultimatum - either choose her or football.
The husband replies, "Give me 90 minutes, and I'll come up with an answer."
20. A man came to watch the World Cup finals and saw an empty seat. He exclaimed about who could even do such a thing. Well, the old man near the empty seat says that it was his wife who he lost. The man apologizes and then tells about how it would be productive if other family members came to fill the seat. The old man tells him that all of them are at the funeral.
How About Them Players?
21. Why do football players do well in their academics?
Because they are skilled at using their heads!
22. Why was the soccer player sent to jail?
Because he had shot the ball.
23. Do you hear about a footballer who has lived for a century?
I heard that player is alive and still kicking!
24. Why do the girls never ask out footballers?
Because they are constantly dribbling.
Jokes Related to Specific Players
The football community has also invested time in making jokes about other football players.
25. Which famous women's footballer is also a rapper?
It's Megan Rap-inoe.
26. Who is the deadliest football player?
It is Eden Hazard!
27. Nobody should care about whether Neymar is faking his injuries.
He will always be my roll model.
28. What is the similarity between a magician and Christiano Ronaldo?
Because both of them know how to make hat tricks!
Jokes Related to the Football Team
The football community has made many funny jokes about the football teams in a general sense.
29. Why did the soccer team fire Cinderella?
Because she ran away from the ball!
30. What is the similarity between a losing football team and a scrambled egg?
Both of them were beaten.
Jokes Related to Goalkeepers
Goalkeepers always save the balls from going inside the nets, so let's look at some of the related jokes.
31. Why can a goalkeeper jump higher than a crossbar?
Because the crossbar cannot jump at all.
32. What is a ghost's favorite position in soccer?
Its Ghoul-keeper!
33. Why did the husband gift a goalie's kit to his wife?
Because he believed that she was a keeper
34. Why couldn't a soccer team lose any goal?
Because they always had a goalkeeper with them.
Jokes related to other Careers
There are also many funny jokes about football that relate a football player to other careers.
35. Why does a soccer player hold their boot to their ears?
It is because they like sole music.
36. When will the soccer player become a judge?
When he sits on the bench.
37. What is the similarity between a swimmer and a football player?
They occasionally dive during the match. No offense to Neymar Jr.
Referees Are Offside
Referees are integral in soccer as they interpret the football rules, so it's sure to have jokes related to them.
38. A football hooligan is brought before a judge. The prosecutor tells the judge that the man committed a crime. The judge asks, "Well, what did he do?"
The prosecutor replied that he threw stones into the sea.
The judge was puzzled and asked, "Well, I don't know how it's a crime then." The prosecutor then says, "It was, your honor. Stones is the referee's name."
39. What is the definition of football?
It is a game between two teams, with 11 players, four linesmen, and about 60,000 referees.
40. A football player becomes blind. What does he do now?
No worries, he can now become a referee.
What If Football Fields Were Round?
41. Why did the football field become a triangle?
Because somebody is taking a corner.
42. At what place does the football field smell the best?
The football field's best smell is at the 'scenter' spot.
43. Why was the football field wet on a sunny day?
Because the players dribbled all over the field.
44. What always runs till the edge of the pitch but never actually moves?
It is the sideline of the field.
Jokes Related to Football Stadium
The football community has made many hilarious jokes related to their football stadiums.
45. What is the coldest place in the Premier League?
It is Cold Trafford.
46. Why hasn't anyone tried building a space soccer stadium?
Because there is no atmosphere.
47. What lights up the football stadium
A football match indeed!
48. Why are the football stadiums so odd?
Because people can sit comfortably in the stands
49. Where do the spiders play their FA cup in?
They play it in the Webley stadium.
Jokes On You, Other Sports
The football community has not been shy to compare their beloved sport to other sports and make jokes about them.
50. An American teen went to an NFL game to show his Spanish friend the most popular sport in his country. His wife was a football fan but had no idea about American football.
After the match, he asked his friend about the sport. She said that she was surprised by people fighting for 25 cents. The teen was surprised, so he asked her to clarify it. The friend replied that they were screaming about getting the quarter-back.
51. A football fan from England went to an MLB baseball game with his American girlfriend. He read the tournament's title and looked confused. His girlfriend asked what was wrong with him.
He then replied to his girlfriend, "Well, why is this tournament called the World Series when only the players of the USA and Canada are participating in it?"
Other Casual Hilarious Jokes
Along with other categories of jokes about soccer, here are some other casual hilarious ones that will surely get you laughing.
52. According to the Greek Myth, could you tell who scored the most goals?
It was the centaur - forward.
53. What is that thing that gets harder the more you run faster?
It is our breath.
54. I was the worst football player in the European leagues, so what changed when I moved to the USA?
Nothing. I am still the worst soccer player in the USA.
55. What's the best place to purchase a football kit?
The best place to buy is New Jersey!
56. Why did the coach bring a pencil and sketchbook to the game?
Because he is hoping for a good draw.
